How To Beat Up My Friend

I was reminded today of a hilarious column that Pete Beatty wrote in the Chicago Maroon back in ought two.  I found it in the archive and passed it around my office to the hilarity of all.  I think it deserves to be seen by more eyes so here’s an excerpt, with the full article here.  Oh, and if you like Pete’s writing, check out his latest work on his blog, Banana Nutriments.

How to beat me up

In the office: I am in the basement of Ida Noyes for a few hours every day. Sometimes I sit with my back facing the door, so you could nail me with a 2 x 4 and kick me around and then run out. There aren’t any cameras. But I am feisty, especially on my home turf, much like the Confederates during the civil war and what not. Come in, ask me if I saw this, hold up a copy of MAROON and then punch me through it. Pull my pants down, take picture, mail it to my middle-school crush.

~ by jaredran on August 19, 2008.